Note: Some months ago, members of the Kiki’s Letters community shared questions, experiences, and situations they were navigating. As I read through them, I was reminded of something beautiful: many of us are carrying similar questions, even when we think we are carrying them alone.
Today’s letter was inspired by a reader who asked something along the lines of:
“I I feel lost in my career. I thought I would have more clarity by now, but lately I feel stuck, uncertain, and unsure of what direction to take. Everyone around me seems to be moving forward while I feel like I’m standing still. Where is God in all I’m going through?”
***************************************
I sat with that question for a while. I know what it feels like.
Maybe not in the exact same way as the person who wrote in, but I know what it is like to look at your life and wonder if everyone else received a map that somehow skipped you.
I know what it feels like to pray for direction and still wake up uncertain. To question whether you are behind. To wonder if you missed God somewhere along the journey.
For me, one of those seasons happened during graduate school. On the outside, everything looked fine. I was studying, learning, growing, taking on responsibilities, doing many of the things that should have made me feel confident about where my life was heading.
Yet internally, I was carrying questions. Questions about purpose, about leadership, and what success was supposed to look like. Questions about whether I was building a life that reflected God’s will or simply chasing what looked impressive.
The older I get, the more I realize that uncertainty is one of the most uncomfortable classrooms God uses. It exposes all the places where we have quietly attached our worth to outcomes.
The promotion. The title. The recognition. The visible evidence that we are making progress.
And when those things feel delayed or unclear, we begin to wonder if something is wrong. I did at least.
Then somewhere in that season, I sensed God asking me a question that stayed with me:
“Who are you when there is nothing to prove?”
Not who are you when people applaud. Not who are you when opportunities are opening. Not who are you when your plans are working.
But, “Who are you when none of those things are happening?”
That question revealed to me how easily productivity can become identity.
A second question followed shortly after:
“Who loves you when you are not producing?”
That question went even deeper.
You see, we understand God’s love intellectually. We know the scriptures. We know the sermons. Yet somewhere beneath all that knowledge, there can still be a quiet belief that our value is connected to our performance.
That God is more pleased with us when we are succeeding. More pleased when we are achieving. More pleased when we have everything figured out.
Yet scripture says:
“The Lord will guide you continually.” — Isaiah 58:11
Continually.
Not only when the path is obvious. Not only when your plans are working. Not only when you feel confident.
Continually.
I think that word matters because it shows us that God’s presence often looks different from what we expect. Many of us want direction to arrive like a GPS.
Clear. Immediate. Turn left here. Turn right there. Five steps to your destination.
But that has rarely been my experience.
Most of the time, God has felt more like a companion walking beside me in the fog.
The fog did not disappear immediately. The questions did not vanish overnight.
Yet His presence remained.
And often, that presence became enough for the next step.
If you are feeling lost in your career right now, there are a few ways you might begin to navigate this season more intentionally.
One is to create what you might call a refusal list. For a period of time, write down the things you will refuse to measure your worth by: titles, comparison, external validation, other people’s timelines. Return to that list regularly, especially when your thoughts begin to drift toward performance and pressure.
Another helpful practice is a simple spiritual review at the end of each week. Ask yourself questions like: Where did I sense God’s peace? What drained me? What brought life? What kept appearing repeatedly? Over time, these reflections begin to reveal patterns that can bring quiet clarity.
It is also important to stay open to counsel from trusted mentors. People who can sometimes see what you are too close to notice clearly. “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” — Proverbs 15:22. There is wisdom in allowing trusted voices to help you discern what you cannot always see on your own.
If you are feeling lost in your career right now, I want you to know that uncertainty does not mean abandonment.
Confusion is not evidence that God has left. A season of questions is not proof that you have failed.
Sometimes God is doing deep work in places that do not yet have visible results.
Sometimes He is shaping character before opportunity. Sometimes He is teaching trust before giving clarity. Sometimes He is simply inviting you to walk with Him one day at a time.
If that is where you find yourself today, take the next faithful step you know to take.
You do not need the entire map. You only need enough light for today.
I pray that in seasons of uncertainty, you learn to recognize and rest in God’s presence even before you know His plan.
With love,
Nkiruka.